So, I wanted to wait to blog about our adoption until I could say something besides "Still waiting", but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. We are "still waiting" for the day we first get to see a picture of our daughters face. SHE is still waiting to hear "You have a family!" We've been in the process for over a year now, and the wait continues to grow.
But to say God has not been all over this process would be a lie. He has shown Himself over and over again, usually after I have thrown myself a pity party about our wait, and how it seems like it's been a "dry season". Like for instance, we received two matching grants. I was completely overwhelmed by the thought of having to raise so much money. Fundraising is right up there on my list below miniature golf (I'd rather chop my arm off, for real! Strange, I know). So, the thought of having to raise that money was not only overwhelming, but intimidating, I was discouraged...throwing myself a first class pity party!! Well, I once had a dear friend tell me that I should send out fundraising letters to everyone I can think of because I'd be surprised at where the money comes from. She could not have been more right!!!! God opened hearts like nothing I've ever imagined, and more!! We were able to match both grants way ahead of schedule, and even have some more extra! God sure does like to make it hard to whine while I wait! But that doesn't seem to stop me...
Just this morning, on the treadmill, I was staring at the pile of stuff in front of me (doesn't that sound like fun! Haha! I still like it better than miniature golf!) I was thinking of how Brad and I had changed over the last couple of years. He's always wanted to do long term missions. I've always been like NO WAY (Friends who have known me for a while can confirm this)! Even when we were first talking about adoption, Brad was wanting to take the route of missions instead, and I just could not see myself doing it! So, we're sitting in church on Sunday and the Pastor is preaching on a "Regret Free Marriage" and he asks the congregation if we knew what our spouses dreams were. And, for the first time in 11 years, we both have the same dream: Go somewhere (waiting for God to say where) and work in an orphanage. That doesn't mean it's happening tomorrow, or even next year, but hopefully someday, God willing! Wow!!! There He goes again, changing my heart without me even knowing.
So what will I do with this wait? Cry? Maybe. Groan? Probably. Throw myself a pity party? Judging from my past, yes. Praise God for what He's doing to Brad and I during this wait? Definitely.